Most men love receiving it; not as many women love giving it. While lots of women do enjoy performing oral sex on their male partners, some women really hate it--in fact, I know one woman who absolutely refuses to do it. "He gets it once a year, on his birthday," she says proudly, while in the next breath bragging about how good he is at cunnilingus. Some men won't even consider dating a woman if she refuses to give head. "I always make sure to ask for a blow job the first time we get naked," says another friend. "That way if she says no, I can stop dating her before we get too serious." Women who don't like it complain that it takes too long, is uncomfortable and tastes funny. Men complain that they don't get it as often as they'd like, and when they do, it doesn't last long enough. Ah, fellatio: the relationship deal breaker.
But it doesn't have to be! If done properly, you can please your man in five minutes or less--about the same time it takes to make a decent cup of herbal tea. If you happen to love giving head, fine. Go for a marathon one-hour session. However, most women would probably prefer to do the deed as quickly as possible. After all, how fun is it to have something roughly the size and shape of a banana shoved down your throat? Men, in case you haven't tried this, stop reading now and go to the kitchen. Take a banana, carrot, zucchini or cucumber and ram in and out of your throat for the same amount of time you think a blow job should last. Wasn't that fun? Perhaps now you'll feel more inclined to come a little more quickly! Women, if you knew your partner would finish up more quickly, wouldn't you feel a little more charitable about performing fellatio? Men, which would you prefer: one fast blow job a week or one long blow job a year? Thought so. Read up.
Blow Job Basics
While every body is different, a few basic things remain the same:
Ask your partner what he likes. At the very least, have him say things like "harder" or "slower." If he's capable of articulating his favorite moves, try to emulate them.
Contrary to the term "blow job," most men do not enjoy their partner blowing into their penis.
Women tend to underestimate how much pressure they can exert on an aroused, erect penis. You don't need to treat it gingerly.
Think variety! Lick, nibble, go up and down the entire shaft, flick your tongue across the head, etc. Be creative.
If you repeat the same motion too long, your partner becomes temporarily insensitive to it, so be sure to vary the type of stimulation.
Use your hands on the shaft of the penis, his testicles and on other parts of his body.
Kiss and lick things besides his penis: his testicles, inner thighs, perineum and lower belly are all very sensitive.
Ask him if he enjoys perineal or anal stimulation during fellatio. If you feel so inclined, accommodate him.
On the underside of the penis, directly below the head, is a small ridge of skin known as the frenulum. This area is exquisitely sensitive to stimulation.
Don't use teeth unless he specifically requests it. You can avoid having your teeth graze his skin by sucking in your lips to cover your teeth (pretend you're an elderly, toothless person and you get the idea).
Suction is a much-loved form of stimulation. But don't suck too hard or you'll choke or cause pain.
Try new scenarios: in the (parked!) car, in the shower, in the backyard, in the living room, on the kitchen table. Variety adds spice to life.
If you are kneeling on the ground while fellating, place a pillow under your knees.
If you are fellating someone with whom you are not monogamously involved, use a condom.
These suggestions should give you a start, but experiment and see what you and your partner enjoy. The greatest tip of all is to relax and enjoy yourself. Enthusiasm goes further than even the best of techniques!
Fellating in Five Minutes or Less
Again, every body is different. However, some variation on the following plan should work wonders.
Don't worry about setting the scene unless you know your partner is into candles, flowers, etc.--or unless they appeal to you. While receiving fellatio, men don't usually notice or care what's going around them. Make sure you are comfortable. This is key.
Regard the penis: become familiar with its shape, size and textures. This will buy you a few moments and add a little bit of tension to the encounter.
Begin by gently stroking, kissing and blowing on the area around the penis: the testicles, inner thighs and lower belly. If he's not already rock hard, he will be by the time you're done tantalizing him.
Your first move should be surprising and fun for both of you. I recommend doing something different each time, such as taking the entire length in one swoop, taking just the head, licking lightly up the shaft or placing a kiss on the head.
Take the penis into your mouth. Become comfortable with it. Figure out how to hold it in your mouth without involving teeth. Determine how far it can comfortably go in, and then honor that limit so you don't choke at an inopportune moment.
With the entire penis in your mouth, apply gentle suction with the back and top parts of your mouth while moving your tongue around on the frenulum. Don't do this for long: it's your "finale" move. Just get comfortable with the motion and give him a taste of what's to come.
Play with the penis for about two minutes. Kiss, lick, tease, mouth and stroke it. Do the same for the balls. Have fun and be creative. Vary your technique from moment to moment. Your goal is to get him so hot he can't stop wiggling.
Begin fellating in earnest: using an up-and-down motion, simulate vaginal intercourse with your mouth. Apply gentle pressure and suction and use your tongue, but continue in the up-and-down motion. You are preparing him for an orgasm.
Wrap one of your hands around the base of his penis just beneath your mouth. As you increase your tempo, squeeze his penis and stroke his shaft with your hand in the same rhythmic motion as you are using with your mouth. Fondle his testicles with your other hand. Get a steady rhythm going and don't vary it.
Keeping the rhythm and hand involvement constant, add the "finale" suction and frenulum tonguing. He should come after about a minute of this.
Swallowing
You are under no obligation whatsoever to swallow. If you aren't comfortable with the idea, feel free to spit it out immediately. However, be aware that the semen will be on your taste buds longer if you keep it in your mouth long enough to find something to spit it into. Swallowing is the most expedient way of ridding yourself of the substance. If you don't like the taste, you can try asking your boyfriend about his diet. While it's true that the taste of semen is affected by certain foods, those foods are different for every person. It's unlikely that your partner will know what's making him taste extra salty that day. Semen will not hurt you if you swallow it. It will, under no circumstances get you pregnant. It won't make you sick (although it may make you queasy for a moment if you swallow on an empty stomach), nor will it positively affect your health. If you put it in your hair, it may help with split ends, but it will probably just make it sticky. Our best advice: swallow it and be done with it.
However, none of this will be an issue if you use a condom. Which, of course, you should if you and your partner are not monogamous and/or have not been tested for STDs.
How to Receive a Blow Job
Although it is permissible to ask for fellatio, you are not allowed to demand it. Be aware that the more you ask for one, the less likely you are to receive one. The best way to get your partner to give you head is to do something really nice and totally unexpected for her, such as bringing her flowers, a new CD or a pint of her favorite ice cream. After she's done crying, she'll probably take you to the bedroom and give you something nice in return.
Receive your blow job with as much gratitude as you can convey. Verbally admire her skill. Compliment her on her crafty technique. Tell her how pretty she is. Stroke her hair and neck. Moan audibly. And never, never do any of the following things:
Don't grab her ears like they're little handles.
Don't shove unexpectedly unless you want her to throw up on your cock.
Don't grab the back of her head to make her thrust faster; let her set the pace.
Don't tell her what she's doing wrong; instead, moan or otherwise indicate when she's doing something you really like. It's called "positive reinforcement."
Don't set things on her head as though she's a side table.
Don't dictate the position you'd prefer. You may mention nicely that you'd like a blow job in the shower, but it's ultimately her choice.
Don't surprise her by coming unexpectedly. Always announce yourself.
Don't make her swallow unless she's indicated she's amenable.
Don't tell her about other notable blow jobs performed by other people unless she specifically asks.
Don't fall asleep, watch television or talk on the phone during or after your blow job. She's giving you a special gift. Appreciate her.
As we've continued to say, every body is different. What one man loves, another man hates. Talk to your partner about what he likes and dislikes. The more comfortable you are discussing fellatio, the more you'll enjoy performing it--but the best way to excel at fellatio is lots of practice. Fortunately, your partner should be more than happy to help out!
